As you know change is on my horizon. But, change it seems is always on my horizon. Last night I was feeling introspective and it got me thinking. How many loves is on supposed to have? I don’t know for sure but I do know That I have loved several different women and everyone has been loved.
Of course there was my first love. Our love was passionate and fun and full of adventure. I learned so much about life, and myself. But, looking back I realize I was so young. However, I know I was fortunate to have such a special love in my life. Then I had love number two. She was rather different than love number one. Different physically and mentally. I was probably still recovering from the heartbreak from my first love. I was ready for something more and I don’t think I realized how great this new girl was. So, of course I moved on. Then I met number 3… Talk about passion Everything we did was fiery. The talking the hanging out the fighting you name it there was never a dull moment. But, she was a bit crazy. that’s where I learned crazy girls can be fun but also maybe a bit out of my league. Then I met number 4 and she was kind, caring, smart, funny, open minded and we both liked beer. But, I like cheap beer and she liked good dark beers. I should have known right then and there that I wouldn’t be able to keep a girl like that happy. Along the way I met girl number 5. She was incredible and as in all cases (there is always one) She is the one who got away. We clicked instantly! I remember seeing her for the first time and I was hooked. As soon as I saw here I thought she is the one for me. We spoke right away and we hit it off from the start. We were inseparable. However, our timing couldn’t have been worse. She moved on and I moved on it was probably one of the most challenging things I ever had to do in my life. But we always have to move on and in the long run I am glad I did. I am currently on love number 6 and she is so dear to me. She tells me she loves me and she she constantly shows me too.
Looking at this list I have to say I am fortunate to have loved 6 different times. Of course I have loved my family members but that not what I am thinking of here. And, as we all know I love Jordan more than anything or anyone in the world. She is the greatest gift I have ever received in my life and our bond continues to strengthen.
I used to even love my job. But, know at 39 I wonder did I make the right choices about work? There is no one to blame but myself and that is a tough pill to swallow sometimes. My option is to just make a change. I am actually thinking of quitting work and going back to school full time to learn a trade. But I worry if that is a huge mistake. I make decent money now and I would be pretty broke if I become a full time student with a part time job.
But the real question to me is: would I be happier? A wise man recently said to me… Money isn’t everything but poverty sucks.
It is funny how my priorities have changed but in a sense have still stayed the same.